I'm a Fr3Ak of a Homunculus
by Phantom-NorthStar
Summary: Has anyone actually made a homunculus by transmuting a live human? Apparently so. Meet Noah Rider, homunculus and Envy's new savior. How will things be affected when Noah finally reveals herself to the world?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This was actually my first Fan fic I ever wrote. But I kept rewriting the beginning, adding different ideas until I was finally happy with the results. I have no idea if Noah will fall in love with someone, but the again, I don't exactly know the wholde plot for this story. And yes, I'm working on my other fics. I just had to post this before I forgot about it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Only Noah and her family.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

* * *

"**Mommy?"**

"**Where are you Mommy?"**

**Creeping to the basement, opening the door, stepping into a room full of pictures on the walls. "Mommy?"**

**There she is, sitting outside one of the circles she drew. Her hair's a mess, and she had dark bags under her eyes. I don't have her pretty hazel eyes. She's wearing the dress Daddy and I picked out for her birthday, before Daddy left. It's a pretty scarlet color. She looks up.**

"**Come here sweetie…" she beckons.**

**Stepping over to her, being hugged… She's crying. But she's smiling as well.**

"**Mommy?"**

"**It'll be over in a bit sweetie. I need you to help me find Daddy. Will you help me?"**

"**Of course Mommy!"**

**Naïve. That's how I was as a child. Back then, the world was perfect. Everybody was happy and content, nothing bad could happen… How wrong I was…**

Gasping for breath, I shakily sat up, my sheets pooling around my waist. My hair fell around me, a few strands sticking to my sweaty face. I placed a cool hand on my brow. A dream. It was just a dream. It can't happen again. Nobody can hurt you like that again. You're not as naïve as you were before.

With a sigh, I swung my legs out of bed, before heading over to the bathroom that was connected to my room. The water for my shower was freezing, but I didn't care. It woke me up. I walked back to my room in nothing but a towel. After digging out my underwear and putting that on, I started to rummage through my dresser, pulling out the clothes I would wear for today. It turns out I would be wearing a dark brown turtleneck that ended just below my bust so my stomach would show, a cream colored vest, low ride dark blue jeans, and my usual black boots. I pulled my white midback length hair back in a low ponytail, not bothering to brush my chin length bangs away from my face. They were useful for hiding my eyes. My right eye was blue while my left was red. My skin was pale, but that's because it usually was cloudy here.

As I stepped outside, I took a deep breath. The rain was coming down like cats and dogs. Then again, it was hardly sunny in this abandoned town. The Military had waged war here against some other country and destroyed most of the town, killing almost everyone living there. Those who survived fled and since then, the town has been rumored to be haunted. So nobody comes around here anymore. And that works for me, seeing as I didn't want anyone to find me. After all, I was supposed to be dead.

Weaving through random alleys and back streets, I contently headed towards one of the butcher shops. I usually hung out around them, seeing as they had knives and some frozen foods that were still good. I needed to get some more meat. The rain had drenched me, but it didn't bother me in the slightest. It took a lot for me to get sick. I was a few meters away from the store when I heard some muffled cursing. I froze, my body stiffening. An alley a little bit in front of me was the origin of the sound. After a few minutes had passed, the cursing getting quieter until it stopped all together, I crept towards the alley, peaking around the corner. Sure I could defend myself, but it's better safer than sorry.

Through the rain, I saw a figure lying somewhat curled up on the ground, near some garbage. I meandered closer, trying to see if the person was till alive. When I was in striking distance, I managed to see that the person was a guy, around eighteen or nineteen years old, with long dark greenish black hair that went to near his waist. His skin was pale and his eyes were closed. His clothes were slightly shredded, but I could see they were skintight and black. He had some type of sleeveless turtleneck that ended just below his chest, shorts that ended halfway down his thigh, and some kind of skirt. Was he wearing a skort? He had some strange kind of socks, a headband, and fingerless gloves. I noticed something on his left thigh. A closer look revealed it to be some kind of alchemic mark. I looked closer at it.

**Crest of Ouroboros…**

I jolted back. He was a homunculus. I heard there were seven of them, all name after the Seven Deadly Sins. I wonder which one he is. Weren't they all serving somebody name Dante? If I remember correctly, they were after some kid named Edward something or other. Hey, I may avoid people and things like that, but I have other ways of getting information. Gotta keep up with the times. I could leave him here, in the rain, where he would probably die, if that was possible. He was still breathing, though it was faint. Or I could bring him back home and possibly have him kill me when he wakes up. To let him live or to not let him live, that is the question. There's a chance one of us'll die either way.

The rain was still falling. Silence was my answer.

Screw it. I pulled one of his arms over my shoulder and somehow maneuvered most of his weight onto me. I don't how I did it, but I eventually dropped him onto the couch in my home. I then shrugged my shoes off near the door, and went to the closet and pulled out two towels. I quickly dried my hair the best I could and changed into a pair of sweats and a flannel shirt. After doing so, I went back out to the living room and started to dry off the homunculus. While I was drying his hair, he stirred. He groggily opened his eyes, blinking as he tired to clear his vision. His eyes were a stunning purple color and his pupils were somewhat cat like. They were amazing. He finally looked at me, seeing as I sat with his head in my lap. His lips pulled back in a snarl. "What do you think you're doing bitch?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I think I'm drying your hair." I told him, not at all frightened. I said earlier that I knew how to defend myself. He shot is hand towards my throat, probably to try and snap my neck. His eyes widened as I caught his wrist. "Calm down and let me finish drying your hair. Then I'll give you a change of clothes. You can crash here until you finish healing, or whatever." I told him, almost done with his hair. He narrowed his eyes at me just as I finished, throwing the towel by the basement door down the hall. I slipped off the couch, sorting through the clothes that were in the guest room until I found another pair of sweats and an oversized shirt, and emerged back into the living room and dumped the clothes on his stomach where he glared at me. I shrugged, before heading back towards my room. "Bathroom's down the hall." I told him over my shoulder before going back into my room, closing the door behind me.

As I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, I relized I never asked for him name. I never gave him my name either. All well. That's what mornings were for.

* * *

I yawned, blinking as my vision cleared. My sheets were haphazardly wrinkled all around me. My mind was fuzzy with sleep for once. It was rare for me to have a dreamless night of sleep. I was grateful for every night like that I got. Nightmares were not something I enjoyed. Sitting up, I kick my sheets away from my legs before getting up and heading to the shower, before getting dressed a few minutes later. Today I chose to wear a red tank top, black jeans, and my favorite skull choker. There was no need to put on shoes, seeing as I would probably spend the whole day inside. I headed out the living room, seeing that it was around noon. There, propped up with a few pillows he probably took from the guest room, was the homunculus from yesterday. He was glaring out the window, which had the curtains drawn to the sides. It was still raining. In a sense, he was acting like a cat or something. I raised an eyebrow and he looked over at me as he finally noticed I had entered the room. "Feeling better?" I asked, sauntering over to the kitchen, which could overlook the living room. I hardly used the dining room. So I was used to eating in the kitchen or the living room. The guy stared at me before answering with a grunt. I guess he wasn't happy with me. "What's a human like you doing out here?" he asked. I turned to look at him, only to step back as he was standing right behind me. He glared at me intensely. When his words registered completely in my mind, I started to laugh. Gods, it had been how many years since I last laughed? He growled at me. I managed to quiet my laughter a bit before I answered him. "You're funny. You think I'm human. I'm a homunculus like you, though when I was still human, I was transmuted _alive_." I said, turning back to the fridge. I pulled out some eggs and started to make breakfast. The homunculus stared at me as he watched me move around the kitchen. A thought popped up in my mind.

"That's right, I never gave you my name. I'm Noah Rider."

"Envy." he told me, finally grinning.

I finished making scrambled eggs, toast, and placed two plates on the coffee table in the loving room, grabbing some fruit and juice. We both filled our plates and started to talk as we ate. Envy wasn't that bad of a guy. He killed humans while I avoided them. Apparently, the pipsqueak they were after was his younger half brother. And they hated each other with a passion. It was an enjoyable afternoon.

* * *

A blond and a suit of armor stepped into the center of the town, trying to find cover from the rain. After taking shelter in a nearby empty building, the blond sighed, exasperated. "How the hell would Envy make it out here? It's raining constantly." he asked the armor. "But brother, this place is abandoned, so he could rest up without calling attention to himself. And most of the leads Colonel Mustang gives us are true." the armor replied in a young voice. The bond nodded. "We'll have to find a place to stay for the night. We can look for him in the morning, when we'll hopefully have better light."

The two entered the building they had taken covered under and found some cots. They quickly fell asleep. Gods know they needed it.

Tomorrow, they were going to learn exactly what chaos was.

* * *

**AN: So what do you guys think? I'll try to make the chapters long, but I can't guarentee anything. Hope you guys like it.**

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Phantom: I can't believe it's been over a year since I updated this fic. I am so sorry for the wait. It's just I started mixing up ideas and getting distracted, and before I knew it, I'd forgotten about it, until I was thinking about writing. And then I remembered all my stories and made myself go somewhere quiet (downstairs), played some music, and made myself type. Surprisingly, I finished the second chapter. So yay!**

**Once again, I apologize for the wait.**

**Disclaimer: I only own Noah Rider and her family.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

* * *

**She tells me to stand in one of the circles. There were strange symbols everywhere. I sat there in my white sundress, my dad's favorite violet ribbon in my hair. I fidgeted, but managed to stay still. She smiled from where she was, outside all of the circles.**

"**Are you ready sweetie?"**

"**Yes Mommy!"**

**She placed her hands on the circles, making them glow a soft blue color.**

**The light intensified until it was a striking gold, with winds whipping around the room.**

**The lights began to turn purple.**

"**Mommy?"**

**She started sobbing and laughing at the same time.**

**Small black hands began to take pieces of her away.**

"**Mommy?!"**

**She looked at me, her eyes slightly crazed.**

"**I hate you."**

**Those were the last words she said to me…**

* * *

I jolted awake again. My chest hurt. She hates me. She always will. I can't do anything to change that. So why does my chest hurt so much, after all these years? I look over at my nightstand to see the clock read 7:30 am. I doubt I'll be able to get anymore sleep. I kicked off my sheets and crossed over to the bathroom, where I showered and came back in nothing but a towel. I rooted around in my dresser, before pulling out a long, ankle length black skirt, short purple tank top that was cut off to show my stomach, fishnet stockings, and my black slip on shoes. I crept out of my room and headed to the kitchen, where I paused, hearing two voices outside my house.

"Hey, Al! This place looks relatively clean. Do you think he's here?" a young male voice asked.

"I don't know, brother. We've been looking through buildings for a while." replied a metallic voice. People were here, looking for someone, Envy I presume. I glanced back down the hallway, seeing the door to the guest room closed. He must have moved into it last night, seeing as he wasn't on my couch anymore. I moved to my door, just as somebody fiddled with the doorknob.

"This place is locked, Al. The other buildings weren't." the first voice said. I carefully moved some of my hair to cover my left eye, before I unlocked the door and pulled it open to see a young blond boy wearing red and his companion, a huge suit of armor. "Is there a reason you were trying to break into my home?" I asked, staring at them blankly. The blond boy stared at me, before he lunged, grabbing my tank top and pulling me close to his face. "Envy...." he growled. I immediately clamped my hands over his wrist, trying to make him let go like a normal human would. "Excuse me?!" I asked, my eyes widening at his raised fist heading towards my face. The suit of armor behind him caught his fist before it hit me. "Brother, I don't think she's Envy. He would have hit you already. Besides, look at her hair." the armor tried to reason with the infuriated blond boy. He let me go, and I fell back onto my butt with a soft gasp. The blond stared at me for a few tense moments before he lowered his fist. The armor then turned his attention, at least I'm assuming it's a he, toward me.

"Are you alright miss?" he asked, in a somewhat childish voice. How old were these guys. Now that I think about it, they look familiar. One of my contacts must have mentioned them. Now that I think about it, they look like the description of the Elric brothers. With a brief nod, I warily stood up, brushing off my skirt. "And exactly who are you people?" I asked with a guarded tone, keeping up appearances. "I'm sorry about earlier. My name's Alphonse, and this is my brother Edward. But people just call us Ed and Al." the armor stated, before nudging the blond boy. "Yeah, well, sorry. Have you seen a green haired guy anywhere?" he asked, crossing his arm and looking grumpy. Like a little kid who just got told he can't have candy. I shook my head negatively. I was making it very obvious that as a human I didn't trust them.

The armor tried to look pass me into my house. "Is there anyone else here?" he asked politely. It was obvious that they were the Elric brothers, though they were seriously getting annoying. I scowled, moving to block as much of the doorway into my house as possible. "No. There's only me and my cat. Is there a reason you assaulted me? Or that you're snooping around a war torn town?" I hissed at them. Ed narrowed his eyes at me, taking my hospitality as a threat I assume. "Our business is our own." he sniped at me.

I moved to shut (slam) the door in their faces when Ed let out a yell. He was looking past me, so I turned. There, only a few feet behind me was Envy, dressed in those strange black clothes he wore when I found him, holding **that man's** old sword from the military. I widened my eyes before winking at Envy, hoping he'd get the message. From the gleam in his eyes, he did. He lunged forward, just as Edward transmuted his arm.

Huh, so that's why he's called the Fullmetal Alchemist.

Time caught up as Envy grabbed me around the throat, holding the sword against me. "Now now, chibi-chan, wouldn't want to let the poor girl get hurt, now would you?" he taunted, making the brothers freeze. I took on an expression of fear like a normal person would. I honestly had no fear of dying. However, normal humans fear for their lives in this situation, and I had acted like a human, so I had to keep acting like a human, otherwise Ed and Al would see me as a threat to also be eliminated. Ed growled.

Then next few minutes went by in a blur as Ed somehow managed to engage the homunculus in a fight, Al being taken out early. I had to say I was actually surprised to find out that Al was a soul bound to a suit of armor. What the hell happened to make these boys the way they are?

Blows were exchanged and the next thing I knew, Envy had scooped me up and thrown me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Ed shouted at him, but his words were lost in the wind as Envy bolted away. But the rage was easy to see on the blond's face before he disappeared in the distance. From what else I saw, part of my house had been destroyed as well. All well, it's not like I grew up there.

After we had covered quite a bit of ground, Envy let me go, and I shakily landed on my feet. My legs were a bit numb after being carried like that for so long. I dusted off my clothes, before turning to the green haired homunculus.

"So now what?" I asked. He gave me a malicious grin. "I can't exactly let you go. Chibi-chan would get curious. Besides, as much as I hate her, I have to take you back to meet Dante and the others. I guess you're a new recruit." he grumbled the last to himself, the grin leaving his face. He then grabbed my wrist and dragged me behind him all the way to an old mansion.

Somehow, I subconsciously realized that this was most likely going to be hell.

* * *

**Phantom: Okay, that was shorter than the first chapter, but I promise to try and make the next one longer. So review time now!**

**The-Living-Shadow- You shall find out what happened as the story goes on.**

**.- Not too close or you'll lose your eye! ;P**

**Cheza the Flower Maiden- ...As a cucumber. *nods***

**Love's Labour's Won- S'okay. I thought I was one of the few people who slap themselves for silly things like that.**

**Jasmine Hatake- You have been alerted. *grins* I'm so proud for updating after so long.**

**Lolmaster27- It has been continued! *epic pose***

**Now I get to wonder how many death threats I'm going to get for not updating sooner. I'm really trying people! Now I must figure out the next chapter! Till then, Ja ne!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Phantom: Ah-ha! This chapter only took four months. Well actually, a little less than a month to type up, but the rest of the time was spent trying to find time to type. My brother was either on the computer all day while my dad was on the one downstairs (meaning no computers available for me to type on) or my brother was playing xbox online and talking to his friends through his headset. Which I must say, his voice is loud, and an automatic killer of inspiriation and spawns writer's block. If only I could get my mum's old laptop to actually work. It comes up (somewhat) and then shuts down. So it's collecting dust until someone (AKA one of the parental units) get's it fixed or finally trashes it.**

**Disclaimer: I own Noah, her psycho mother, and the plot. But not Fullmetal Alchemist. Or I wouldn't bother writing fanfiction.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

**Where am I? It's dark. Really dark. I can't see a thing.**

"**Mommy?"**

**Silence is my answer. I don't like this place. Where's Mommy?**

**Panic is beginning to make itself know.**

**That prickling sensation of being watched.**

**Spinning and gaping.**

**Eyes of the deepest red color are staring. From the darkness, all riveted on me.**

**The silence crashes, the dark falling apart like shattered glass, as time seems to gain control again.**

**Burning, tearing, screaming pain makes itself known.**

**A long, excruciating painful scream that echoes.**

* * *

There was no sound in the dark room except for my breathing. It had to be early in the morning again. Sleep just seems to run away from me, leaving the nightmares as compensation. How many times have I had these dreams, these recollections of the past I try so hard to not think of? Well, it's not like I'm going to be feeling tired from lack of sleep. That hasn't affected me since all that time ago. Back before **she** completely lost it.

Yesterday had been different to say the least. Envy had dragged me, not like I was unwilling or anything, to this slightly ruined mansion. I say slightly because while a few repairs were needed, they weren't that bad. I mean, I had been living in a war torn and abandoned town. Who was I to judge?

When we got inside, there was a lady with soft looking brown hair and a kid with long wild hair simply standing there, like they were waiting for us. Creepy, I know. Both had the familiar purple cat eyes of a homunculus. The kid also seemed to be holding onto the lady's waist. He had a large grin on while she had a simple smile. Immediately, Envy and the kid were arguing, while the lady took me aside. "Hello, you must be the human that found Envy. My name is Sloth." she introduced herself.

They think I'm human. Nice. So while they know about me finding Envy in the rain, they know nothing of our conversations. The commotion Envy and the kid were causing went up a notch in volume, and then got really physical. They were throwing each other around and crashing into things. I nonchalantly pointed this out to Sloth and she simply smiled at the scene, before a lady with brown hair and regular purple eyes showed up, her dress a deep red, different from all the black clothing the homunculus were wearing. She narrowed her eyes at the fighting pair, before placing her hand on a red stone.

**Philosopher's Stone...**

It glowed before the floor was transmuted into restraints, holding both fighters immobile. She then turned her attention towards Sloth and me. "So you're the little girl Envy's been hanging around the past few days, hm? I don't see why. You don't look like an alchemist. Or worth much of anything at all." she commented, coming to stand in front of me. We were the same height. She raised her hand and grabbed my chin, forcefully moving my head this way and that. Luckily my hair stayed where it was, so she didn't see my left eye. I don't want to have to explain it, nor do I want to give her any advantage over me. She already has one, seeing as she's an alchemist.

Eventually she scoffed, letting me go. Her eyes turned to survey the damage Envy and the kid caused. Her sharp eyes than turned back to me. "Well, it looks like you've seen too much, so I do believe you're going to be our new tenant. I hope you know how to cook and clean." she ended with a malicious smile. I blinked. Wow, she's human and yet she still hates her race. I sense irony in that. And I heard she was supposed to be a genius or something. Gods, the fun I can have with this. But that is a thought for later time.

Apparently someone had already made dinner, seeing as we had arrived a few minutes before it was time to sit down and eat. Dinner had been a simple affair, seeing as the only homunculi at the mansion were Sloth, the kid who I learned was called Wrath, and Envy. But while simple, if you were sensitive enough, you could feel the tension between Envy and Dante. I could easily see they didn't like each other at all. I'm guessing she had something over Envy, otherwise I'm sure he would have torn her throat out already.

For some reason, Wrath became attached to me, often following me around like a little puppy. And this kid could talk. He just kept chatting and chatting, and I ended up just tuning him out. I have never been more thankful to see an empty bedroom. Though I didn't even bother to lock the door. Wrath or Envy would probably break it.

So here I am, lying in bed, my hair splayed all over, my left eye covered with a bandage. I stared at the ceiling. It had to be four in the morning. A look at the clock proved it. Damn...

I guess I zoned out for the next two or three hours, cause I was startled into an upright position when my door slammed open, a body launching itself at me. Turns out that body was none other than....

"Wrath."

"GOOD MORNING NOAH!"

And here commences the screaming in my ear. With a quick shove, I got Wrath away from my face, and outside of my personal space bubble. I have no idea how he could be this hyper already. Speaking of the time, wasn't I supposed to make breakfast? Well, I should be getting dressed than. It seems like the closet already has clothes in my size in it. Freaky. But who am I to complain?

So I easily shoved Wrath out of my room, telling him that I needed a few minutes to get dressed and that I'd walk down to the kitchen with him. That seemed to do the trick, seeing as he stayed outside of my door, bouncing up and down in one spot. Whisking myself over to the closet, I pulled out a simple pale blue sundress and white slip on shoes with little blue roses patterned on them. I took off the bandages covering my eye and put on a medical eye patch. Pulling the door open, Wrath immediately grabbed my hand, dragging me behind him all the way through the hall and to the kitchen. What is it with guys dragging me everywhere? Or should I say manhandling me, since the Elric boy did nearly hit me?

Once I realized we stopped moving, I noticed we were in the kitchen and that Wrath had taken a seat at the island table. "Huh... You're fast." was all I said before I started rooting through the kitchen to figure something out for breakfast. I ended up making French toast and pancakes. They seriously needed to go shopping for groceries.

I guess the smell of cooked food woke up the other three tenants of the mansion, since they all congregated to the kitchen. Of course Envy looked slightly out of it. Dante looked slightly miffed at something, while Sloth looked completely awake and set for the day. We all sat down to eat, and Wrath cheerfully filled the room with his chatter. All in all, breakfast was simple and ended when everyone went off to do their own thing, including Wrath who decided to follow Sloth with whatever she was doing. After doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, I went off in search of Dante.

I found her in the study. I presume it was just for her to use. She was sitting at the desk, pouring over a bunch of papers and using a few open books for reference. At least, that's what it looked like she was doing. I stopped a meter away from her desk, hands folded behind my back. "Ms. Dante, may I have permission to go shopping in the nearest town for groceries today?" I asked, keeping my posture like that of a servant's. I needed to be on her good side. She looked up from her work, sneering at me. For a few minutes there was nothing but silence as she thought over my request. Finally looking back down, she waved her hand in a dismissive manner. "Fine. But first you need to clean the house. Including everyone's room, except for mine. If I find that you've entered my room, you'll find yourself transmuted to the gate. And when you go shopping, I expect you to take one of the others as an escort, to make sure you don't run off."

I gave a sort curtsey and a quiet 'thank you' before I silently exited the study, heading to one of the closets I had seen earlier. There I would find the cleaning supplies I needed.

Now, who's room should I start with first?

* * *

**Phantom: Okay, so glad I got off my butt and found a way to type this up. For anyone nice enough to review, the last question 'who's room should I start with first?' is something I need your help deciding. In this story, each homunculus has their own room, including Greed, despite any issues with Dante. They don't always stay there, and are constantly coming and going. So depending on who's room she cleans in what order, might just decide who comes to the mansion later. I'm not sure.**

**Anyways, review time!**

**Jacky-lulu- Yeah, my characters don't wear the same outfits all the time, unless there's a uniform or something. Hm, maybe Noah'll get a maid's outfit or something later.....**

**Alchemist of Secerets- Her mom's not evil per say... Just crazy... ish... And I didn't notice I wrote 'all well'. You were correct about what I was trying to say, cept now I'm to lazy to go back and fix it. I don't have a beta for anything... Eh, once I finish the story, I might go back and fix it. You were the only person to point it out, so Thank You Very Much!**

**I Love To Bite- I didn't take a year this time! Ha ha! I should get cookies or something for this achievement.**

**Surprisingly, I got no death threats. Which kinda in a twisted way makes me sad. They're so much fun to respond to... I seriously hope to get a few reviews before I start typing the next chapter, since I honestly have no idea whose room to start with. All we know is no going in Dante's room. Or should Noah sneak in there later on? Hmmm.... See ya next time!**


End file.
